Kim's Horizon

Today, let’s chat about something that can be a little bit, well, messy – potty training! If you’re reading this, chances are you’re in the thick of teaching your little one the art of using the toilet. It’s a journey that can be as unpredictable as it is rewarding. So, grab a cup of coffee (or a glass of much-needed wine), and let’s dive into the world of overcoming potty training obstacles together.

My son started showing signs of being ready to potty train around 20 months old, and I mentioned it to my preschool. The director told me that if he couldn’t verbalize that he had to go, there was no sense in training him.

MISTAKE #1:
I believed her.

The fall after he turned 2, I moved him to a new preschool and by then he had stopped showing interest in the potty. I asked the preschool not to push him. But at the end of the summer session, they warned me he had to be fully potty-trained by fall when he entered the 3’s room, or he would not be allowed to start school with his friends.

MISTAKE #2:
I followed their rules.

We tried everything to convince our little boy to use the potty before that fall start date – rewards method, diaper-free method, Brazleton method, 3-day method… My son was so miserable. I am ashamed to admit it, we even tried the “you don’t want to be a baby in diapers, do you?” method. I still feel awful about it.

So….
❓What is the best way to potty train a toddler?
❓What age should a toddler be potty trained?
❓How long does it take to fully potty train a toddler?

What I learned is that you need to listen to your toddler, not the “experts” who all think their way is the best. We got him trained with a combination of reasoning with him, offering potty prizes, bribing with jellybeans, creating potty games (apparently it’s fun to sink Cheerios), and reading books in the bathroom, but I think it was more dramatic for him (and us!) than it needed to be and looking back, it didn’t have to be that way. I should have potty trained him when he was 2 and super interested in the potty. I tell myself I’ll be better at this when it’s time to potty train my daughter.

Simple Tips to Reduce the Struggles

• Have lots of patience and offer gentle encouragement
• Remember that accidents are just that – accidents – so try not to scold
• Put potty-training underwear UNDER the diaper so they feel the wetness but the mess is contained
• Be prepared for regression and then go back to basics
• Keep things fun – get a tiny potty with a flush button, decorate the bathroom, offer prizes, celebrate the small things
• Find your support system – talk to other parents or even teachers

It’s been 8 months now, and he’s doing great! He rarely has an accident, but we still struggle a little bit sometimes with poop. (WHY do they hold it in???)

Now I keep a little Potette potty and liners in the car, just in case we’re on the road or he decides he’s afraid of a public potty. We’ve graduated from offering a prize just for peeing in the potty to using a sticker chart and “cashing out” at the end of the week for bigger prizes. That’s been great for his counting skills!

Listen to your toddler and watch for signs like patting the diaper or hiding in a quiet spot to poop. Then follow your own intuition and do what works for you, your toddler, and your family. It’s easy to empower toddlers for potty success. You’ve got this!